5 midnight sun午夜阳光-第20章

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ush；　I　strode　forward；　setting　my　pace　so　that　I　would　walk　by　at　the　right　moment。

I　watched　her　body　stiffen　when　she　caught　sight　of　the　boy　waiting　for　her。　froze　for　a　moment；　then　relaxed　and　moved　forward。　Hi；　Eric；　I　heard　her　call　in　a　friendly　voice。　I　was　abruptly　and　unexpectedly　anxious。　What　if　this　gangly　teen　with　his　unhealthy　skin　was　somehow　pleasing　to　her？　Eric　swallowed　loudly；　his　Adam　s　apple　bobbing。　She　seemed　unconscious　of　his　nervousness。　Hi；　Bella。　She　What　s　up？　she　asked；　unlocking　her　truck　without　looking　at　his　frightened　expression。　Uh；　I　was　just　wondering　if　you　would　go　to　the　spring　dance　with　me？　His　voice　broke。　She　finally　looked　up。　Was　she　taken　aback；　or　pleased？　gaze；　so　I　couldn　t　see　her　face　in　his　mind。　Eric　couldn　t　meet　her　I　thought　it　was　girl　s　choice；　she　said；　sounding　flustered。　Well；　yeah；　he　agreed　wretchedly。　This　pitiable　boy　did　not　irritate　me　as　much　as　Mike　Newton　did；　but　I　couldn　t　find　it　in　myself　to　feel　sympathy　for　his　angst　until　after　Bella　had　answered　him　in　a　gentle　voice。　Thank　you　for　asking　me；　but　I　m　going　to　be　in　Seattle　that　day。　He　d　already　heard　this；　still；　it　was　a　disappointment。　Oh；　he　mumbled；　barely　daring　to　raise　his　eyes　to　the　level　of　her　nose。　Maybe　next　time。　Sure；　she　agreed。　Then　she　bit　down　on　her　lip；　as　if　she　regretted　leaving　him　a　loophole。　I　liked　that。　Eric　slumped　forward　and　walked　away；　headed　in　the　wrong　direction　from　his　car；　his　only　thought　escape。　I　passed　her　in　that　moment；　and　heard　her　sigh　of　relief。　I　laughed。　She　whirled　at　the　sound；　but　I　stared　straight　ahead；　trying　to　keep　my　lips　from　twitching　in　amusement。　Tyler　was　behind　me；　almost　running　in　his　hurry　to　catch　her　before　she　could　drive　away。　He　was　bolder　and　more　confident　than　the　other　two；　he　d　only　waited　to　approach　Bella　this　long　because　he　d　respected　Mike　s　prior　claim。　I　wanted　him　to　succeed　in　catching　her　for　two　reasons。　If　as　I　was　beginning　to　suspect　all　this　attention　was　annoying　to　Bella；　I　wanted　to　enjoy　watching　her　reaction。　But；　if　it　was　not　if　Tyler　s　invitation　was　the　one　she　d　been　hoping　for　then　I　wanted　to　know　that；　too。　I　measured　Tyler　Crowley　as　a　rival；　knowing　it　was　wrong　to　do　so。　He　seemed

tediously　average　and　unremarkable　to　me；　but　what　did　I　know　of　Bella　s　preferences？　Maybe　she　liked　average　boys　I　winced　at　that　thought。　I　could　never　be　an　average　boy。　How　foolish　it　was　to　set　myself　up　as　a　rival　for　her　affections。　How　could　she　ever　care　for　someone　who　was；　by　any　estimation；　a　monster？　She　was　too　good　for　a　monster。　I　ought　to　have　let　her　escape；　but　my　inexcusable　curiosity　kept　me　from　doing　what　was　right。　Again。　But　what　if　Tyler　missed　his　chance　now；　only　to　contact　her　later　when　I　would　have　no　way　of　knowing　the　oute？　I　pulled　my　Volvo　out　into　the　narrow　lane；　blocking　her　exit。　Emmett　and　the　others　were　on　their　way；　but　he　d　described　my　strange　behavior　to　them；　and　they　were　walking　slowly；　watching　me；　trying　to　decipher　what　I　was　doing。　I　watched　the　girl　in　my　rearview　mirror。　She　glowered　toward　the　back　of　my　car　without　meeting　my　gaze；　looking　as　if　she　wished　she　were　driving　a　tank　rather　than　a　rusted　Chevy。　Tyler　hurried　to　his　car　and　got　in　line　behind　her；　grateful　for　my　inexplicable　behavior。　He　waved　at　her；　trying　to　catch　her　attention；　but　she　didn　t　notice。　He　waited　a　moment；　and　then　left　his　car；　sauntering　up　to　her　passenger　side　window。　He　tapped　on　the　glass。　She　jumped；　and　then　stared　at　him　in　confusion。　After　a　second；　she　rolled　the　window　down　manually；　seeming　to　have　some　trouble　with　it。　I　m　sorry；　Tyler；　she　said；　her　voice　irritated。　I　m　stuck　behind　Cullen。　She　said　my　surname　in　a　hard　voice　she　was　still　angry　with　me。　Oh；　I　know；　Tyler　said；　undeterred　by　her　mood。　something　while　we　re　trapped　here。　His　grin　was　cocky。　I　was　gratified　by　the　way　she　blanched　at　his　obvious　intent。　Will　you　ask　me　to　the　spring　dance？　he　asked；　no　thought　of　defeat　in　his　head。　I　m　not　going　to　be　in　town；　Tyler；　she　told　him；　irritation　still　plain　in　her　voice。　Yeah；　Mike　said　that。　Then　why　？　she　stared　to　ask。　He　shrugged。　I　was　hoping　you　were　just　letting　him　down　easy。　Her　eyes　flashed；　then　cooled。　Sorry；　Tyler；　she　said；　not　sounding　sorry　at　all。　I　really　am　going　to　be　out　of　town。　He　accepted　that　excuse；　his　selfassurance　untouched。　have　prom。　That　s　cool。　We　still　I　just　wanted　to　ask　you

He　strutted　back　to　his　car。　I　was　right　to　have　waited　for　this。　The　horrified　expression　on　her　face　was　priceless。　It　told　me　what　I　should　not　so　desperately　need　to　know　that　she　had　no　feelings　for　any　of　these　human　males　who　wished　to　court　her。　Also；　her　expression　was　possibly　the　funniest　thing　I　d　ever　seen。　My　family　arrived　then；　confused　by　the　fact　that　I　was；　for　a　change；　rocking　with　laughter　rather　than　scowling　murderously　at　everything　in　sight。　What　s　so　funny？　Emmett　wanted　to　know。　I　just　shook　my　head　while　I　also　shook　with　fresh　laughter　as　Bella　revved　her　noisy　engine　angrily。　She　looked　like　she　was　wishing　for　a　tank　again。　Let　s　go！　Rosalie　hissed　impatiently。　Stop　being　an　idiot。　If　you　can。　Her　words　didn　t　annoy　me　I　was　too　entertained。　No　one　spoke　to　me　on　the　way　home。　thinking　of　Bella　s　face。　But　I　did　as　she　asked。　I　continued　to　chuckle　every　now　and　again；　As　I　turned　on　to　the　drive　speeding　up　now　that　there　were　no　witnesses　Alice　ruined　my　mood。　So　do　I　get　to　talk　to　Bella　now？　she　asked　suddenly；　without　considering　the　words　first；　thus　giving　me　no　warning。　No；　I　snapped。　Not　fair！　What　am　I　waiting　for？　I　haven　t　decided　anything；　Alice。　Whatever；　Edward。　In　her　head；　Bella　s　two　destinies　were　clear　again。　What　s　the　point　in　getting　to　know　her？　I　mumbled；　suddenly　morose。　just　going　to　kill　her？　Alice　hesitated　for　a　second。　You　have　a　point；　she　admitted。　If　I　m　I　took　the　final　hairpin　turn　at　niy　miles　an　hour；　and　then　screeched　to　a　stop　an　inch　from　the　back　garage　wall。　Enjoy　your　run；　Rosalie　said　smugly　as　I　threw　myself　out　of　the　car。　But　I　didn　t　go　running　today。　Instead；　I　went　hunting。　The　others　were　scheduled　to　hunt　tomorrow；　but　I　couldn　t　afford　to　be　thirsty　now。　I　overdid　it；　drinking　more　than　necessary；　glutting　myself　again　a　small　grouping　of　elk　and　one　black　bear　I　was　lucky　to　stumble　across　this　early　in　the　year。　I　was　so　full　it　was　unfortable。　Why　couldn　t　that　be　enough？　Why　did　her　scent　have　to　be　so　much　stronger　than　anything　else？

I　had　hunted　in　preparation　for　the　next　day；　but；　when　I　could　hunt　no　more　and　the　sun　was　still　hours　and　hours　from　rising；　I　knew　that　the　next　day　was　not　soon　enough。　The　jittery　high　swept　through　me　again　when　I　realized　that　I　was　going　to　go　find　the　girl。　I　argued　with　myself　all　the　way　back　to　Forks；　but　my　less　noble　side　won　the　argument；　and　I　went　ahead　with　my　indefensible　plan。　The　monster　was　restless　but　wellfettered。　I　knew　I　would　keep　a　safe　distance　from　her。　I　only　wanted　to　know　where　she　was。　I　just　wanted　to　see　her　face。　It　was　past　midnight；　and　Bella　s　house　was　dark　and　quiet。　Her　truck　was　parked　against　the　curb；　her　father　s　police　cruiser　in　the　driveway。　There　were　no　conscious　thoughts　anywhere　in　the　neighborhood。　I　watched　the　house　for　a　moment　from　the　blackness　of　the　forest　that　bordered　it　on　the　east。　The　front　door　would　probably　be　locked　not　a　problem；　except　that　I　didn　t　want　to　leave　a　broken　door　as　evidence　behind　me。　I　decided　to　try　the　upstairs　window　first。　Not　many　people　would　bother　installing　a　lock　there。　I　crossed　the　open　yard　and　scaled　the　face　of　the　house　in　half　a　second。　Dangling　from　the　eave　above　the　window　by　one　hand；　I　looked　through　the　glass；　and　my　breath　stopped。　It　was　her　room。　I　could　see　her　in　the　one　small　bed；　her　covers　on　the　floor　and　her　sheets　twisted　around　her　legs。　As　I　watched；　she　twitched　restlessly　and　threw　one　arm　over　her　head。　She　did　not　sleep　soundly；　at　least　not　this　night。　Did　she　sense　the　danger　near　her？　I　was　repulsed　by　myself　as　I　watched　her　toss　again。　How　was　I　any　better　than　some　sick　peeping　tom？　I　wasn　t　any　better。　I　was　much；　much　worse。　I　relaxed　my　fingertips；　about　to　let　myself　drop。　long　look　at　her　face。　But　first　I　allowed　myself　one　It　was　not　peaceful。　The　little　furrow　was　there　between　her　eyebrows；　the　corners　of　her　lips　turned　down。　Her　lips　trembled；　and　then　parted。　Okay；　Mom；　she　muttered。　Bella　talked　in　her　sleep。　Curiosity　flared；　overpowering　selfdisgust。　The　lure　of　those　unprotected；　unconsciously　spoken　thoughts　was　impossibly　tempting。　I　tried　the　window；　and　it　was　not　locked；　though　it　stuck　due　to　long　disuse。　I　slid　it　slowly　aside；　cringing　at　each　faint　groan　of　the　metal　frame。　I　would　have　to　find　some　oil　for　next　time　Next　time？　I　shook　my　head；　disgusted　again。　I　eased　myself　silently　through　the　halfopened　window。　Her　room　was　small　disorganized　but　not　unclean。　There　were　books　piled　on　the　floor　beside　her　bed；　their　spines　facing　away　from　me；　and　CDs　scattered　by　her　inexpensive　CD　player　the　one　on　top　was　just　a　clear　jewel　case。　Stacks　of　papers　surrounded　a　puter　that　looked　like　it　belonged　in　a　museum　dedicated　to

obsolete　technologies。　Shoes　dotted　the　wooden　floor。　I　wanted　very　much　to　go　read　the　titles　of　her　books　and　CDs；　but　I　d　promised　myself　that　I　would　keep　my　distance；　instead；　I　went　to　sit　the　old　rocking　chair　in　the　far　corner　of　the　room。　Had　I　really　once　thought　her　averagelooking？　I　thought　of　that　first　day；　and　my　disgust　for　the　boys　who　were　so　immediately　intrigued　with　her。　But　when　I　remembered　her　face　in　their　minds　now；　I　could　not　understand　why　I　had　not　found　her　beautiful　immediately。　It　seemed　an　obvious　thing。　Right　now　with　her　dark　hair　tangled　and　wild　around　her　pale　face；　wearing　a　threadbare　tshirt　full　of　holes　with　tatty　sweatpants；　her　features　relaxed　in　unconsciousness；　her　full　lips　slightly　parted　she　took　my　breath　away。　Or　would　have；　I　thought　wryly；　if　I　were　breathing。　She　did　not　speak。　Perhaps　her　dream　had　ended。　I　stared　at　her　face　and　tried　to　think　of　some　way　to　make　the　future　bearable。　Hurting　her　was　not　bearable。　again？　Did　that　mean　my　only　choice　was　to　try　to　leave　The　others